The Hopes and Fears of All the Years…

The hopes and fears of all the years…

My first half of 2024 was really rough. Unrelenting pain, multiple specialists, complicated surgeries, and torturous medical treatments that usually didn’t work. The second half of 2024 has been a really good season in my own life, but so many heartbreaking health issues, family crises, struggles, and losses for precious friends.

Yet all year long, there has been an inexplicable, indescribable, unshakeable, underground stream of joy running through my life even as I weep for my friends or cry out in my own pain. Sometimes my eyes leak so my heart won't explode, whether they are tears of pain or joy.

I often say the two greatest gifts I inherited from my mother are the ability to laugh and the ability to cry. My grandfather and my mother were two of the funniest, but also two of the wisest people I’ve ever known. Can joy and sorrow coexist? Have you ever experienced unexpected laughter during some of the darkest times of your life?

“If all that you see is comedy, you're in denial. If all that you see is tragedy, then you're in despair. But if you see them both, you will learn how to both laugh and cry, and sometimes do both at the same time. You will see that the darkness around you and sometimes within you is real, but you will also see that it is not ultimate.” (Russell Moore)

As my wise friend Patti says, “I have to visit despair, but I refuse to live there.”

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe.

Some of you are Buddy the Elf, and everything about Christmas brings you fun and excitement. You revel in the Four Main Food Groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.   

Some of you are struggling because Christmas puts a big spotlight on things that may not seem like a Norman Rockwell painting. It may feel a little more like “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” For some of us the holidays are a very mixed bag. Life doesn't automatically become a Hallmark movie just because the holidays are here.

Some of you have even been celebrating “Festivus for the Rest of Us”, joining Frank Costanza from Seinfeld by battling though election season with "feats of strength" and "airing of grievances". You are ready to disprove people on social media with your links and conspiracy theories. You are ticked off at everyone and everything.

Every day I meet with people who are fearful, confused, celebrating, suffering, excited, angry, grieving, hopeful, and all over the board in their thoughts and emotions. Often in the same person. Often in the same day. That's not weird. That's human.

I'm so grateful for a God who encourages us to rejoice, mourn, weep, laugh, feast, be comforted, grieve, trust, and come alongside one another no matter where life finds us. He has not called us to be Stepford Wives or happy little cookie cutter robots. He has not called us to live by cross-stitched pillows, cheery bumper stickers, or pat black-and-white answers.

The Lord understands. He made us this way. He put relief valves in our lives to let the pressure off when we're about to explode or implode. It takes a robust theology to hold joy and sorrow together in dialectical tension. As we read through Scripture, we find a God who is the ultimate realist. He doesn't minimize or deny our pain, yet he invites us to embrace joy and celebration even in lament.

My old pastor used to say: At first the Christian life seems to be all joy. Then we enter a season that seems to be all pain. Eventually we learn to experience joy even in the midst of pain.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:25-26

I can only smile (the word means rejoice, laugh, and even play) at the future if I am resting in the certainty that Someone who is eternal, loving, powerful, and full of grace is holding me. Wisdom and kindness will only come from my mouth if I am drawing on Him instead of myself.

And that’s where Christmas breaks into our complicated and conflicted world. Jesus arrives in all His fulness to meet us where we are and take us where we need to be.

“Yet in thy dark streets shineth

The everlasting light

The hopes and fears of all the years

Are met in thee tonight.” (Phillips Brooks)

With God’s love and mine,

Linda

Upcoming Psalm One Gatherings. This life stuff is complicated. Don't try to do this on your own, kiddos!:

• New Psalm One Bible Study:

Beginning January 7, we will begin a study in 2 Peter. This is for men and women, single and married, any age, from anywhere. We meet online on Tuesdays nights at 7:30pm Eastern Time (or whatever time that is in your world). You are welcome whether you show up every week, or every once in a while. Locals will be gathering in person for dinner and fellowship every month or two. Sign up to stay in the loop for resources and links: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study

• The Psalm One Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Soul Care Retreat: 

A fun, relaxing, refilling weekend away that is all about feeding your soul, nurturing your walk with Jesus, and building authentic friendships with people who get it. Who truly understand. Free and open weekends do not suddenly appear. If you don't prioritize your soul care, no one else will. We think we can't afford to take the time to restore our souls and find life giving friendships, but in reality we can't afford not to! Space is limited and the early bird rate ends three weeks before each retreat. Register NOW to join us! For more info and to register: https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives    

     Help us spread the word!

     Invite all the pastors’ wives you know!

     Gift the retreat for your pastor's wife!

• January 24-26 Cincinnati, Ohio

• February 28-March 2 Green Lake, Wisconsin

“I know that my spiritual life, emotional life, thought life and married life have been profoundly and positively affected by these times away with a small, intimate group of other pastors' wives. It annually provides me with the time I need that I just wouldn’t or couldn’t take on my own to assess where I am at and what specifically God is up to in my life and my family’s life and in my church. It encourages me to keep moving forward, to keep clinging to Jesus, to remember that I am never alone because God is always with me and also because there are other beautiful women who have so many of my own shared experiences. I also keep coming back because I learn so much from ALL the women who come and are willing to share and bare their hearts. There is a wealth of wisdom and experience and genuine love for Jesus in these groups. It is invaluable. PS--I would also like to add that I keep coming back also because it’s just plain FUN!”

• Refocus and Refuel Retreat:

Pull away from the noise and the busyness for a semi-silent getaway to rest, revel, relax, recollect, reconsider, revive, return, recommit, remember, receive, recover and rejoice. Your own ensuite room. Wonderful food. Beautiful surroundings. For men and women, lay and clergy, anyone desiring a deeper walk with Jesus. “I have stilled and quieted my soul” (Psalm 131:2) For more information and to register for this Cincinnati event: https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel

• March 14-16

• September 26-28

• November 14-16

• Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Pastors’ Wives Oasis:

Thursdays at 7:30pm ET. Join us for laughter, sharing, mutual support, prayer, time in the Word, and genuine friendship with others who understand the wonderful, weird, and wooly life in the ministry. Sign up at https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives to stay in the loop with resources and links.

Checking our Tanks

My dad had an unusual specialty: running out of gas. It was almost a game to see how long he could wait before filling up. This was decades before cars had fancy gauges to tell you how many miles you had left until the gas tank was completely dry. I can’t tell you how many times we were stopped on the side of the road with my dad saying, “You don't need to tell your mother about this.” The most frustrated I ever saw my mom was when she was sitting in a kaput car on the Ohio Turnpike in the middle of the night with three little tired and hungry girls in the back seat.

My grandfather had a different philosophy: “Take care of the first half of the tank, and the second half will take care of itself.” In other words, be sure you always have some reserves. Running the tank down to the last drop of petrol damages the car.

Some of us like to see how long we can run our engine before we have nothing left except fumes. It can actually be a source of pride to burn the candle at both ends. We feel like we have accomplished something special if we can push through on our own strength. Or we may feel like we can't afford to take the time to completely refuel our tank. Or we may think it's selfish to rest. Or we may have no idea how to fill our tank, so we stumble along on a dribble of energy.

One of my favorite artists is Jackson Browne, and one of his most famous songs is “Running on Empty”. As life keeps speeding up and cluttering up, we often hear the words “too busy”, “tired”, “exhausted”, “weary”, “drained” as we describe our lives. I think of Jackson’s lyrics:

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels.

I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels.

Look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through,

Looking into their eyes, I see them running too.

Running on empty

We have to learn to check the gauges in our lives before our tanks drop to dangerous levels.

• The first gauge we usually check is the physical. Am I eating right? Am I getting exercise? Am I getting enough sleep? When was my last check up? Is this straight diet of pizza and ice cream working for me?

• Some of us check the spiritual. Am I spending time in the Word? How's my prayer life? Do I have genuine fellowship? Am I worshipping God in my life and community? Am I being fed spiritually? Am I giving out to others? Do I really have to put up with other Christians?

Check. Check. Looks like I'm fine. Full speed ahead. So how did I wind up in a cycle of run, crash, burn, recover…?

• How's your mental gauge? Are you thinking clearly? Is your mind crowded with all kinds of things you can't do anything about? Do you doomscroll online whenever you get a break? Are you reading good material? Can you clear your mind as you climb into bed and go to sleep in peace? What kind of diet is your brain receiving? Books, webinars, podcasts, news, streaming, and TV? How does it affect your thinking and relationships? When were you last thoroughly rested and peaceful?

• How's your emotional gauge? Can you feel all of your emotions? Are you skimming through life? Numb and just existing? Can you have a good cry when you need it? Or can you not stop crying? Have you buried toxic emotions hoping that rage, anger, frustration, and resentment won’t seep to the surface? Are your emotions exploding out of proportion, coming out sideways at the wrong people, at the wrong time, in the wrong way? Can you fully experience love, joy, peace, and wonder? Are you moved by fun, beauty, relationships, and God? When did you last have a good laugh?

What wears me out physically and spiritually--and also mentally and emotionally? What replenishes my tank, gives me life, keeps me going, energizes me? How do I need to readjust my schedule and priorities so that I can live a life of genuine trusting and resting in God?

Have I asked far too many questions?

In order to move from an exhausting pattern of run, crash, burn, recover to a sustainable and life-giving pattern of rest, pray, work, play, I need to submit my entire life to God. Physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, and every other area of my life. In Psalm One, we speak of following after God with our head, heart, and hands. Everything we do is aimed at seeing the Lord work in and through us with everything He has made us to be.

"If therefore your whole body is full of light, with no dark part in it, it will be wholly illumined, as when the lamp illumines you with its rays."  (Luke 11:36)

Join us as we seek to allow the Light of the World to shed light on all our gauges. He made us, He knows us, and He loves us. I need Him to overhaul my entire life. Do you?

• Refocus and Refuel:

Could you use sometime in a beautiful, quiet space to check your gauges and see if you might need a little bit more fuel in your engine? Do you need a little help figuring out how you might do that? Would you welcome time and space to sit at Jesus’ feet and ask Him? Join us for the Refocus and Refuel Retreat.

We had some cancelations, so we have space for you at the Refocus and Refuel Retreat next weekend (November 1-3) if you get a hold of me immediately. We have a limited number of partial scholarships for pastors and pastor’s spouses. Is that invitation for you? We love these getaways, and we would love to have you join us. This is for men and women, single and married, clergy and lay, anyone who desires a closer walk with Jesus. For more information: https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel Mark your calendars for the 2025 retreats: March 14-16, September 26-28, November 14-16.

• Psalm One Bible Study:

“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15) Join us any Tuesday from anywhere in the world for the Psalm One Bible Study. We have had a wonderful family of men and women seeking to walk with God for almost 25 years! We are currently in 1 Peter, and you are welcome to drop in at any point. This study meets online (with in-person gatherings for the locals) and is for men and women, married and single, anyone who wants to know the Word and walk with Jesus—with resources along the way. Everyone is welcome Tuesday at 7:30 pm Eastern Time whether you come every week or pop in every once in a while. Sign up to stay in the loop: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study

• Psalm One Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Soul Care Retreats: 

A fun, relaxing, refilling weekend away that is all about feeding your soul, nurturing your walk with Jesus, and building authentic friendships with Aaron and Hur. Free and open weekends do not suddenly appear. If you don't prioritize your soul care, no one else will. We think we can't afford to take the time to restore our souls and find life giving friendships, but in reality we can't afford not to! Register NOW to join us: https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives We have a limited number of partial scholarships available. Contact me For more information.

o   January 24-26 Cincinnati, Ohio

o   February 28-March 2 Green Lake, Wisconsin

• Thursday night Psalm One “Sisterhood of the Fishbowl” just for Pastors’ Wives.

I look forward to Thursday every week. This group has been a joyful lifeline for so many of us. An oasis in the week where we can gather with friends, share our roller coaster lives, laugh quite a bit, pray for one another, and receive a spiritual boost. Thursdays, 7:30pm Eastern Standard Time. To stay in the loop for these online gatherings, resources, and encouragement, sign up at the top of this page: https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives 

Hope to see you somewhere along the way soon.

Grace and peace,

Linda

Time Tithing

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword,

and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit,

of both joints and marrow,

and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

(Hebrews 4:12)

I don't know about you, but I have a lot of things jockeying for position in my life right now. So many priorities, people, issues, events, and undone to-dos cluttering up my head and heart. A lot of struggling and hurting friends. A lot of important decisions to make. A lot of things I want to do. A lot of things I need to do. But I keep bumping up against my own limits. I don’t think I’ve been completely caught up and finished with my plans and workload since I was about ten years old.

Limits can be so frustrating, but they are actually God-given gifts that keep us from over-functioning and taking on tasks we were never meant to do. My life goal is to be able to say, "I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which YOU have given me to do.” (John 17:4) There is one Savior, and it is not me. I can’t do it all. I was never meant to do it all. I wish I had a magic wand to solve all the problems and complete all the work I see. But we ignore our limits at the expense of our sanity, marriages, family, health, ministries, and souls. What has the Lord given ME to do?

Jesus tells me, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34) But how do I do that?

Martin Luther is quoted as saying, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” Which sounds crazy. But I have found that what I call “time tithing” has helped me tremendously. When I am overwhelmed by how much I have to do or how many check boxes are in my Day-Timer (yes, I am a dinosaur and I still use a paper planner.), I set it all aside and spend time in the Word, prayer, and journalling FIRST. Then I return to my workload and amazingly enough…the wheels are greased, the tasks are streamlined, and the day becomes fruitful. And far less frustrating.

Do you want to learn how to do that? Could you use some “time tithing” to sort out your crowded life? Would you be encouraged by some “soul decluttering”? Do you just long for some life-giving peace and quiet rest at Jesus’ feet? Come away with me November 1-3 for a Refocus and Refuel Retreat.

• Who’s invited? Men and women, anyone hungry for a deeper connection to Jesus. 48 hours to let the whirlwind cease, to let the noise subside, to let the dust settle, to be able to discern the important from the urgent, to keep what is valuable, to let the chaff blow away.

• What do we do? The weekend begins with time in the Word, taking inventory of the state of our souls, and heart preparation to open our lives to Jesus. We end with time in the Word, reflecting on what God has been whispering, and prayer as we return home. In between these gatherings, we are in complete silence except for great conversation and lots of laughter over meals and meeting with me for spiritual direction, prayer, or just a listening ear if desired.

• When: November 1-3, Friday afternoon through Sunday lunch.

• Where: Cincinnati, Ohio. Your own private room and bathroom. Delicious meals. Beautiful quiet space to stretch out, gorgeous chapel, Autumn leaves, scenic neighborhood to wander, pray, process, and be refreshed.

• How much? $225 ($250 after October 18) which includes all housing, meals, and materials.  Space is limited and we cannot hold your spot until paid in full, so register soon!

If you’ve done something like this before, you know how God meets us where we are and gently leads us where we need to be. If you’ve never done anything like this before, do not fear! There will be plenty of guidance and freedom for you to experience the presence of Jesus. Spaces are limited and Early Bird ends October 18, so register soon at: https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel

This is for men and women--anyone who desires a deeper relationship with God! This is especially life-giving and replenishing for those who pour themselves out in ministry to others. Come and clear out the cobwebs through life-giving time with the Shepherd. Set aside this time to devote to the Lord. It will be time well invested. Hope you can join us!

"I have continued to attend the Refocus and Refuel retreats as they are one of the most valuable ways that I can spend my time throughout the year! I am reminded that while we often prioritize so many other things in our lives, focused and uninterrupted time with God and getting quiet to hear what He has to say is often pushed to the bottom of our priority list! These weekends are a gift to allow us to be intentional about prioritizing this most valuable time. God never fails to meet us as we choose to "sow" time with Him: "...for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7). It is well worth it!!”

Before the holidays are upon us, let’s prepare Him room! For more information: https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel

*****************

Can’t quite make it to Cincinnati for the Refocus and Refuel Retreat?

Join us any Tuesday from anywhere in the world for the Psalm One Bible Study. We are currently in 1 Peter, and you are welcome to drop in at any point. This study meets online (with in-person gatherings for the locals) and is for men and women, married and single, anyone who wants to know the Word and walk with Jesus—with resources along the way to learn how to “time tithe”. Everyone is welcome Tuesday at 7:30 pm Eastern Time whether you come every week or pop in every once in a while. Sign up to stay in the loop: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study

Grace and peace,

Linda