I love Spring. Everything reminds me of growth happening where dormancy has been. New life coming up from ground that looked dead. Perfect imagery for me right now, as I recover from an extremely stressful 2018, and hopefully enjoy a better 2019.
Most of 2018 was survival mode. Between my parents’ declining health, my dad’s Alzheimer’s and final days, my own illness, and making the 200-mile round trip to Louisville at least once a week, life seemed to go from crisis to crisis. We never fully understand how much stress we are under until we are in a new season.
Some stress is inevitable and inescapable in the tough seasons of life. Certain stages of life are tough no matter how you slice it. Just. Plain. Hard. One of the things God continually whispered to me during my prayer pilgrimage last year was, “The next few months will be very, very tough.” He wasn’t kidding.
Some stress is avoidable, voluntary, a result of choices I make. Overscheduling, pushing beyond my limits, ignoring warning signs. I have limited capacity. I am obviously not Super Woman. I need to subtract some things from the Day-Timer (yes, I still use a paper planner). Another whisper from God: “Continue to say an enthusiastic yes and a discerning no carefully.” When I try to be all things to all people, when I try to please man rather than God, when I listen to every voice except the Lord, I become exhausted, frazzled, and defeated.
Margin:
o Protects me from “fraying around the edges”
o Prevents me from playing Messiah--from thinking it all depends on me
o Provides life-giving resilience for the bumps and bruises of life
o Improves my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health
o Makes me easier to live with! Rested people are more kind.
I had to say no to a lot of very good people, projects, and places in 2018. I need space for recovery, rest, and recalibration. I want to make a special effort to leave space for the Lord to set up His divine appointments.
In “From Solitude to Community to Ministry”, Henri Nouwen says, “In the spiritual life, the word discipline means ‘the effort to create some space in which God can act.’ Discipline means to prevent everything in your life from being filled up. Discipline means that somewhere you're not occupied, and certainly not preoccupied. In the spiritual life; discipline means to create that space in which something can happen that you hadn't planned or counted on.”
Is there any margin in my life for Jesus to interrupt and reassign me? Any space for air, light, and water? Any possibility of serendipity?
Some stress can be diminished by adding life-giving experiences. Yet another message from the Lord: “Tend your soul and you will be protected. Neglect your soul and you will be vulnerable.” I know that in order to tend my soul, I need to reorder my inner life, my rhythms, patterns, and pacing. I need to live a pattern of Rest à Prayer à Work à Play instead of Run à Crash à Burn à Recover. I need to include fun and renewing people, places, and playtime into my schedule.
I look forward to another prayer pilgrimage in 2019. I have learned it is absolutely essential for me to have an extended time alone with God each year. I would not have survived 2018 without my “Jesus Journey”. Through the Prayer Pilgrimage God gave me a well of strength from which to draw.
I will also get away with great friends this year to catch up, laugh, and explore. Good rhythms, good pacing, good friends, good times. Relaxation, fun, connections. Sometimes you need to get out of town with friends. Sometimes you need pizza and board games. Sometimes you just need to meet for lunch.
Here’s to a bit less stress in 2019!
This week, may we celebrate God bringing forth life where death has been. He is risen! He is risen indeed.
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)