“Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.” (Psalms 30:5)
What this encouraging verse doesn't specify is: "How long is that night?" and "When will it finally be morning?"
I spent the first half of 2024 going back and forth between West Chester Hospital and Cleveland Clinic. I have had two surgeries, endured multiple medical procedures, been jabbed with lots and lots of needles, and seen many, many specialists.
But this morning I sat on my deck in the sunshine and celebrated the fact that I am finally not in constant pain.
I am not screaming on a regular basis. (I'm sure my neighbors wonder what's been happening over here.)
I am not constantly repeating a mantra of: "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts." (Many friends have recommended far more colorful language.)
I am no longer losing terrifying amounts of blood. (So sorry for TMI.)
I am still very weak and wobbly, and there are more appointments and treatments ahead, and more trips up to Cleveland Clinic. (Next appointment is Monday.) But the tide has turned, and I am not nearly as incapacitated.
My heart breaks for so many friends and acquaintances who are also in pain. Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and relational pain with the accompanying exhaustion, conflict, and questions.
If anyone tells you they have the final and definitive answer to the problem of pain and suffering, bless them and back away slowly. Beware of pat answers and anything stitched on a pillow or plastered on a bumper sticker or meme.
Job had the most amazing friends who “sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.” (Job 2:13) The problem began when they decided they could explain what God was doing and why it was all Job's fault.
I don't have all the answers by a very long shot. But here in no particular order are a few random thoughts and truths that have helped me through some rough valleys:
· Sometimes the successful Christian life is shuffling one foot in front of the other and just making it through the day. That's why his Word is a lamp to our feet, instead of a spotlight a mile ahead. Focus on being obedient second by second in this moment and making decisions in light of eternity. Trust God with what lies in between.
· We need true friends to be Aaron and Hur to hold our arms up in the battle. And we need to BE Aaron and Hur for others. “But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set.” (Exodus 17:12) I am so grateful for the Psalm One Prayer team and so many friends who have helped me with encouragement, prayers, transportation, meals, flowers, cards, chocolate, laughter, and the invaluable ministry of presence.
· One never knows who will show up to help. Sometimes support comes out of the woodwork from sources you never expected. My neighbors (some of whom I’d never met) provided meals for me.
· 99.9% of people do not welcome unsolicited advice. Please don't tell me about your miracle supplement and how I too can order it from you for only $300.00 a month. Please don't tell me why I am ill because my walk with God is not good enough. Please don't tell me about your aunt who had what I have and died a horrible death.
· The most honest prayer in Scripture is “I do believe; help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24)
· The most useful prayer of scripture is, “For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You." (2 Chron 20:12)
· God does not love me any less on days when I cannot muster the strength to walk across a room or drag my body out of bed.
· The worse the pain, the more I sense the closeness of God as He holds me.
· I am not alone.
· Beauty is healing. Music, art, photography, color, movement, animals, books, film, and nature. All of these and more can be windows to the soul and spiritual pathways to hold onto Jesus.
· It's okay to say no. The two most powerful words in spiritual growth are yes and no. Learn to say a discerning no so you can say an enthusiastic yes. Sometimes I have to disappoint a lot of people. Think about Jesus’s life. Can you imagine if He never said no to anyone? We wouldn't be here.
· Thank you for your patience when I have not been on call 24/7/365. The only One who is always available (and the only one who should be) is God. There is one Savior, and it is not me. My goal is to keep pointing you toward Him. But I greatly appreciate your flexibility and support when I have needed to be unplugged and unavailable.
· Don't accept criticism from anyone you wouldn't go to for advice.
· Most of us learn far more from the challenging seasons than we do under blue skies. We all have rough edges that need to be sanded off. Many things are only learned through great pain or deep love. The tools God uses to shape and mold us can be very sharp and very painful. But in His hands, wrecking balls and holy sandpaper can make us a little more like Jesus.
· The only part of non-biblical literature which I think should be canonized is Chapter 8 of The Screwtape Letters which explains how God uses the difficult and painful seasons in life. It ends with: “Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." (Everything is reversed, i.e. The Enemy = God.)
· God drops laughter into my life at the most unexpected moments. 2024 has been tough, but there has been so much hilarity in my life. If we keep our spirit open, there is joy to be found, even in the roughest times. In the midst of unsparing pain, God has given me so many funny moments. I made one friend spit Pepsi out her nose, an accomplishment of which I am inordinately proud.
· At first the Christian life seems to be all joy. Then it seems to be all pain. Then we find joy in the midst of our pain. This becomes the anchor of our soul. We learn not to fear when the next storm rolls in. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. There is horrendous suffering out there. But we have “an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil.” (Hebrews 6:19)
"Adventure lies ahead." That's what God keeps whispering in my ear. Some of you know more than a few "Linda Kline stories". I’ve had some very exciting, dangerous, and hilarious experiences. I meet a lot of truly fascinating people. I know not to approach wildlife, but wildlife doesn't know not to approach me. Lots of stories involving fur, fins, feathers, flippers, and fangs. Never a dull moment. I cannot count the number of times people have said, "you need to write a book." I have snippets of about twenty different books. Maybe someday I'll finish one.
The surgeon finally cleared me to be back in the water. You have no idea what that means to a mermaid! For the last week, I've been swimming to exhaustion every day. Now my goal is to get out of Ohio (which has a distinct lack of oceanfront property) and into the sea. Aching to be back underwater with my fish, sea turtles, mantas, manatees, octopuses, eels, rays, whales, dolphins, and even those Aussie sharks.
Apparently, God is not quite done with me yet. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and I will hold on to the One who holds on to me.
Thanks for coming along, listening, and praying. Much love,
Linda
Psalm One Ministries gatherings and events (Watch your email. More may be added as I am able. And Goodtime Linda might be hitting the road.)
Psalm One Bible Study:
We are studying 1 Peter online on Tuesday nights at 7:30 pm Eastern Time and would love to have you with us. This letter is jam packed with wisdom on how to walk as strangers and aliens in this world, yet chosen and beloved of God. We're getting so much out of this study! This is for men and women, single and married, anyone who wants to go deeper in the Word and walk closer with Jesus. Sign up online to stay in the loop with links and resources: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study Anyone is welcome to hop in anytime.
November 1-3 Refocus and Refuel Retreat:
Who’s invited? Men and women, anyone hungry for a deeper connection to Jesus. 48 hours to let the whirlwind cease, to let the noise subside, to let the dust settle, to be able to discern the important from the urgent, to keep what is valuable, to let the chaff blow away.
What do we do? The weekend begins with time in the Word, considering the state of our souls, and heart preparation. We end with time in the Word, reflecting on what God has been whispering, and prayer as we return home. In between these gatherings, we are in complete silence except for great conversation and lots of laughter over meals and meeting with me for spiritual direction, prayer, or just a listening ear if desired.
When: November 1-3, Friday dinner through Sunday lunch.
Where: Cincinnati, Ohio. Your own private room and bathroom. Delicious meals. Beautiful quiet space to stretch out, gorgeous chapel, gardens, scenic neighborhood to walk, wander, pray, process, and be refreshed.
How much? $225 which includes all housing, meals and materials.
“"I have continued to attend the Refocus and Refuel retreats as they are one of the most valuable ways that I can spend my time throughout the year! I am reminded that while we often prioritize so many other things in our lives, focused and uninterrupted time with God and getting quiet to hear what He has to say is often pushed to the bottom of our priority list! These weekends are a gift to allow us to be intentional about prioritizing this most valuable time. God never fails to meet us as we choose to "sow" time with Him: "...for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7). It is well worth it!!”
This is for men and women--anyone who desires a deeper relationship with God! This is especially life-giving and replenishing for those who pour themselves out in ministry to others. Come and clear out the cobwebs through life-giving time with the Shepherd. Set aside this time to devote to the Lord. It will be time well invested.
If you’ve done something like this before, you know how God meets us where we are and gently leads us where we need to be. If you’ve never done anything like this before, do not fear! There will be plenty of guidance and freedom for you to experience the presence of Jesus. https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel
Thursday night Psalm One “Sisterhood of the Fishbowl” (just for pastors’ wives):
I look forward to Thursday every week. This group has been a joyful lifeline for so many of us. An oasis in the week where we can gather with friends, share our roller coaster lives, laugh quite a bit, pray for one another, and receive a spiritual boost. Thursdays, 7:30pm Eastern Standard Time. To stay in the loop for these online gatherings, resources, and encouragement, sign up at the top of this page: https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives
Psalm One Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Soul Care Retreats (just for pastors’ wives):
A fun, relaxing, refilling weekend away that is all about feeding your soul, nurturing your walk with Jesus, and building authentic friendships with Aaron and Hur. Free and open weekends do not suddenly appear. If you don't prioritize your soul care, no one else will. We think we can't afford to take the time to restore our souls and find life giving friendships, but in reality we can't afford not to! Mark your calendar NOW to join us in 2025: https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives
January 24-26 Cincinnati, Ohio
February 28-March 2 Green Lake, Wisconsin