The hopes and fears of all the years…
My first half of 2024 was really rough. Unrelenting pain, multiple specialists, complicated surgeries, and torturous medical treatments that usually didn’t work. The second half of 2024 has been a really good season in my own life, but so many heartbreaking health issues, family crises, struggles, and losses for precious friends.
Yet all year long, there has been an inexplicable, indescribable, unshakeable, underground stream of joy running through my life even as I weep for my friends or cry out in my own pain. Sometimes my eyes leak so my heart won't explode, whether they are tears of pain or joy.
I often say the two greatest gifts I inherited from my mother are the ability to laugh and the ability to cry. My grandfather and my mother were two of the funniest, but also two of the wisest people I’ve ever known. Can joy and sorrow coexist? Have you ever experienced unexpected laughter during some of the darkest times of your life?
“If all that you see is comedy, you're in denial. If all that you see is tragedy, then you're in despair. But if you see them both, you will learn how to both laugh and cry, and sometimes do both at the same time. You will see that the darkness around you and sometimes within you is real, but you will also see that it is not ultimate.” (Russell Moore)
As my wise friend Patti says, “I have to visit despair, but I refuse to live there.”
It's the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe.
Some of you are Buddy the Elf, and everything about Christmas brings you fun and excitement. You revel in the Four Main Food Groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.
Some of you are struggling because Christmas puts a big spotlight on things that may not seem like a Norman Rockwell painting. It may feel a little more like “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” For some of us the holidays are a very mixed bag. Life doesn't automatically become a Hallmark movie just because the holidays are here.
Some of you have even been celebrating “Festivus for the Rest of Us”, joining Frank Costanza from Seinfeld by battling though election season with "feats of strength" and "airing of grievances". You are ready to disprove people on social media with your links and conspiracy theories. You are ticked off at everyone and everything.
Every day I meet with people who are fearful, confused, celebrating, suffering, excited, angry, grieving, hopeful, and all over the board in their thoughts and emotions. Often in the same person. Often in the same day. That's not weird. That's human.
I'm so grateful for a God who encourages us to rejoice, mourn, weep, laugh, feast, be comforted, grieve, trust, and come alongside one another no matter where life finds us. He has not called us to be Stepford Wives or happy little cookie cutter robots. He has not called us to live by cross-stitched pillows, cheery bumper stickers, or pat black-and-white answers.
The Lord understands. He made us this way. He put relief valves in our lives to let the pressure off when we're about to explode or implode. It takes a robust theology to hold joy and sorrow together in dialectical tension. As we read through Scripture, we find a God who is the ultimate realist. He doesn't minimize or deny our pain, yet he invites us to embrace joy and celebration even in lament.
My old pastor used to say: At first the Christian life seems to be all joy. Then we enter a season that seems to be all pain. Eventually we learn to experience joy even in the midst of pain.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:25-26
I can only smile (the word means rejoice, laugh, and even play) at the future if I am resting in the certainty that Someone who is eternal, loving, powerful, and full of grace is holding me. Wisdom and kindness will only come from my mouth if I am drawing on Him instead of myself.
And that’s where Christmas breaks into our complicated and conflicted world. Jesus arrives in all His fulness to meet us where we are and take us where we need to be.
“Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight.” (Phillips Brooks)
With God’s love and mine,
Linda
Upcoming Psalm One Gatherings. This life stuff is complicated. Don't try to do this on your own, kiddos!:
New Psalm One Bible Study:
Beginning January 7, we will begin a study in 2 Peter. This is for men and women, single and married, any age, from anywhere. We meet online on Tuesdays nights at 7:30pm Eastern Time (or whatever time that is in your world). You are welcome whether you show up every week, or every once in a while. Locals will be gathering in person for dinner and fellowship every month or two. Sign up to stay in the loop for resources and links: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study
The Psalm One Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Soul Care Retreat:
A fun, relaxing, refilling weekend away that is all about feeding your soul, nurturing your walk with Jesus, and building authentic friendships with people who get it. Who truly understand. Free and open weekends do not suddenly appear. If you don't prioritize your soul care, no one else will. We think we can't afford to take the time to restore our souls and find life giving friendships, but in reality we can't afford not to! Space is limited and the early bird rate ends three weeks before each retreat. Register NOW to join us! For more info and to register: https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives
Help us spread the word!
Invite all the pastors’ wives you know!
Gift the retreat for your pastor's wife!
January 24-26 Cincinnati, Ohio
February 28-March 2 Green Lake, Wisconsin
“I know that my spiritual life, emotional life, thought life and married life have been profoundly and positively affected by these times away with a small, intimate group of other pastors' wives. It annually provides me with the time I need that I just wouldn’t or couldn’t take on my own to assess where I am at and what specifically God is up to in my life and my family’s life and in my church. It encourages me to keep moving forward, to keep clinging to Jesus, to remember that I am never alone because God is always with me and also because there are other beautiful women who have so many of my own shared experiences. I also keep coming back because I learn so much from ALL the women who come and are willing to share and bare their hearts. There is a wealth of wisdom and experience and genuine love for Jesus in these groups. It is invaluable. PS--I would also like to add that I keep coming back also because it’s just plain FUN!”
Refocus and Refuel Retreat:
Pull away from the noise and the busyness for a semi-silent getaway to rest, revel, relax, recollect, reconsider, revive, return, recommit, remember, receive, recover and rejoice. Your own ensuite room. Wonderful food. Beautiful surroundings. For men and women, lay and clergy, anyone desiring a deeper walk with Jesus. “I have stilled and quieted my soul” (Psalm 131:2) For more information and to register for this Cincinnati event: https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel
March 14-16
September 26-28
November 14-16
Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Pastors’ Wives Oasis:
Thursdays at 7:30pm ET. Join us for laughter, sharing, mutual support, prayer, time in the Word, and genuine friendship with others who understand the wonderful, weird, and wooly life in the ministry. Sign up at https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives to stay in the loop with resources and links.